Hogwarts School of Theology
by Arcturus81
Summary: Harry Potter realises the truth of the Catholic Religion. A response to, and rewriting of, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles, with the anti-Catholicism taken out.


Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Harry Potter who lived under the stairs in a house on Privet Drive with his aunt and uncle. He was a good, obedient boy who did all his chores; but he was beaten regularly and felt that there was something missing in his life. Something big and special; but he could not quite name it. He stayed up every night; and wished for this special something; but then one day, there was a knock at his door-and everything changed.

"Answer the door, Harry!" his Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short, curly blonde hair.

Harry answered the door right away. He turned the brass, metal doorknob; and pulled open the heavy, wooden door.

On the porch was standing a huge, muscular man with a big, manly beard; and he was dressed in a red plaid shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy, leather boots. His chest was covered in a thick, unruly carpet of coarse, brown hair, upon which rested a large crucifix. Just looking at him made Harry feel happy, peaceful somehow; but he couldn't say why!

"Good morning, kiddo," the man greeted amiably; and smiled at Harry. He had the peaceful, friendly sort of face you just knew you could trust. "My name is Hagrid. Could I speak to your mummy and daddy?"

"You can speak with my auntie and uncle," Harry replied politely, then added sadly "I don't have a mummy or daddy," as he looked at his raggedy, old shoes that were blue. Perhaps that was why he felt so lonely, he thought, not for the first time. Maybe that was what he was missing-a mummy and daddy. But no, that was not quite right.

"I am so sorry to hear that!" Hagrid uttered empathetically.

"What do you want?" Aunt Petunia peered out the door with her narrow, suspicious eyes; and she was wearing a baggy, unflattering pantsuit.

"Am I speaking to Petunia Evans-Dursley?" Hagrid asked.

"Yes"

"And are you Harry?"

"Yes" Harry replied, and blinked his big, green childlike eyes.

"I am sorry I had to ask about your parents, I needed to know you were the right boy."

"My parents died in a car accident." Harry said sadly.

Hagrid looked shocked "No, thats wrong."

"Your parents were Catholic martyrs. They were a truly good, holy and devout couple. However, they were forced to go into hiding after a prophecy was made concerning Lord ... Voldemort... (Hagrid spat the word out), a powerful and evil man. Unfortunately, they were betrayed and murdered. This happened when you were still a baby."

"It was arranged for you to live with your only living relatives, your aunt and uncle, until you were old enough to attend Hogwarts School of Theology, your parents old school, where arrangements have been made for you. Your aunt and uncle should have told you this."

"Is what this man says true?" Harry asked his Aunt.

"Yes..." She replied reluctantly. "We thought it better for you not to know, and for you to have nothing whatsoever to do with that Catholicism nonsense."

"What exactly is a Catholic?" Harry queried innocently; and scuffed his shoe on the shaggy, yellow carpet which had not been vacuumed in quite some time.

"We believe in one all-powerful, all-knowing and all-good God, the Creator of the Universe" Hagrid explained wisely; and crouched down so he was on eye level with Harry. "We believe in doing unto others as we would have them do unto us _(Luke 6:31; Matthew 7:12)_. We believe in the Church that our Lord Jesus established on Earth to continue his good works and ministry. And we believe that our Lord Jesus Christ rose from the dead, defeating death, and that we too can have eternal life alongside him. Do you know what heaven is, Harry?"

Harry shook his head; and his big eyes were wide and curious.

"Heaven is a beautiful place where we can be with God."

Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry's young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, "Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has modern science and moral relativism."

Hagrid laughed wisely. "Logically, which is more likely, that a complex universe with natural laws just right for life to evolve in just spontaneously sprang into existence, or the eternal existence of a single perfect, eternal being who created it all? And what about all of those millions of people who have had religious experiences, surely you cant discount them all?"

Aunt Petunia could only stare at him, her big mouth hung dumbly open.

Harry smiled, but then exclaimed, "But how do I be a Catholic? I don't know how!"

Hagrid grinned widely. "You can learn that at Hogwarts School of Theology!"

"Hogwarts School of Theology?" Harry queried; and clasped his hands. Just at hearing that name, he felt such a sense of inner peace. He wanted to have more of that peace; and he wanted to learn how to be a good Catholic - he was starting to think that peace and being a good Catholic were in fact the exact same thing! "I want to go there!"

Hagrid beamed widely. The poor boy, being raised by two parents who were not Christian; and who both went to work and left him with a babysitter all day long. It was a good thing Hagrid had got here in time.

"Don't be silly, Harry," Aunt Petunia commanded; and wrung her long, bony hands. "Come back inside."

Harry scrunched up his innocent little face; and thought very hard. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were as close to parents as he had; and this was the only home he knew. Could he really leave?

Suddenly, he knew what he had to do.

"No, Aunt Petunia," he uttered calmly with childlike wisdom. "I am going to Hogwarts."

"I shall call the police" Aunt Petunia screeched desperately.

"Don't be silly" replied Hagrid "You know as well as I do that provision for Harrys attendance at Hogwarts was arranged years ago. I have all the paperwork right here. You should have told him."

"Do not leave, Harry!" Harrys cousin Dudley wailed childishly, though in truth normally he was a rather unpleasant bully.

"I must," Harry said; and stepped over the threshold. "Goodbye Aunty, Goodbye Uncle, Goodbye Dudley. I hope you too decide to join God's Holy Church."

And with that, he and Hagrid began to walk down Privet Drive.


End file.
